Next stop...... New York

Well, with less than one week to go to the New York Marathon, people have been asking me if I'm well prepared, how I'm feeling, what sort of time I'm aiming for, if I'm mad, how is training going, and a number of other questions about next weekend. The truth is, I have mixed emotions, that is when I'm not thinking this is all a dream/nightmare. Sometimes I have to remind myself that this is real, I did sign on the dotted line, and I am, in a few days time, going to fly across the pond to take part in one of the major marathon's in the running calendar.

My first emotion is one of excitement! I've recently had all the flight and race information through from Sports Tours International, and it just looks amazing, the whole event. I've also been looking at the ING New York City Marathon website, and am gobsmacked at the organisation that's gone into this: it really is an amazing weekend, not just race! The website is incredibly helpful and inspiring, with some great pictures and a description of the course as it runs through New York's 5 boroughs. There is also a fantastic video of the course, which is really helpful, if not a little daunting. And having never been to The Big A, I am looking forward to spending just a little bit of time walking
around, soaking up the atmosphere. And this is perhaps the most exciting part for me: having just taken part in the Great Brum Run, with 15,000-20,000 runners, I can only imagine the atmosphere, support and crazyness of running through New York with 55,000 others in front of those crowds. Unbelievable.

However, I also have other emotions, which oscillate between apprehension and terror. In my lower moments over recent days, as the race has become more of a reality and not just some "good idea" I had  few months ago, I've had some doubts about my ability to run this distance: this was particularly the case after running this Saturday, as I really struggled with my longer run. Am I going to be able to last the distance (literally)? Have I done enough training? Why am I so slow? I've never run a marathon before, and the most I've run is about 21 miles at a push. I feel a fraud, and not really worthy of running in such a great race. I know so many good runners who would do a much better job than me. I've not trained smart, or well, and I'm not sure if I've done enough. The course is not as flat as I thought it might be, and has hills in all the wrong places (basically anywhere on the course as far as I'm concerned). I'm worried about hitting the wall, what that will be like, whether my legs will last..... Maybe none of this would matter so much if I was a good, talented runner, but I'm not. I'm just a pretty average one. 

Will look forward to seeing him.....

Anyway, before I wallow in any more self pity, I must say that I do feel more positive most of the time. Just as well. In my more positive moments, I am, I hope, a little more realistic. I have done about five long 20 milers in training, so I know I can do that distance. The vast majority of my training has been on my own, and, running round Birmingham, has included plenty of hills, so really I think I've done it the hard way and shouldn't fear what New York has to throw at me. I have felt strong in last my two races, and have no major injuries or pain. 

I guess the fact that I've never run 26.2 miles before, means that this is an unknown quantity. I have no idea what running this distance will be like, how I will react, or if I will have the determination to see me to the end..... I suppose this is what it's all about for me. The ultimate challenge to finish my Challenge Series! I'm just hoping the atmosphere, adrenaline and a lot of prayer will get me through. We'll see!

Great Birmingham Run 2013

Pre-race selfie!

The penultimate race in my 2013 Challenge Series was the Great Birmingham Run, a half marathon following a route through Birmingham's city centre, through the south of the city, including Cannon Hill Park, Cadbury's, and Edgbaston and then back into Birmingham.

This would have been my last race of the series, if I had not decided to run the New York marathon, and I was torn between really "going for it" and taking it easy, so as to not take any unnecessary risks just a couple of weeks before New York. In the event I took it as a sort of training run, thereby not really performing at my best, but having a great time.

In the first mile

Before this year's race, The Great Brum Run last year was probably my favourite race, and I found it to be an exhilarating and emotional experience. This year, although I did not have the same response as last year, I thoroughly enjoyed this really great run! The weather was again pretty nearly perfect for running, pretty mild but with a bit of sun peeping through and the race itself was really well organised. 

An improvement on last year

The course had changed slightly from last year, with an additional "hilly bit" at about mile 4. This threw me a bit, and did make the course slightly harder, not only because of that hill, but also because the hill at the end came slightly later on in the course as well. However, I think I preferred it this year as it felt that once THE hill was done and out of the way, the finishing line came more quickly!

I had estimated that I'd get a time of 2.00 hours and was pretty surprised to be in the second "white" wave of the race, as I thought I'd be in the green wave, which was the next wave to start. I think I must have just scraped into this wave, as most people around me I think would have been expecting to run 1:50 or quicker. I was definitely surrounded by more "serious" runners than at the start last year, and as a result was overtaken by a good lot of runners over the first few miles! As I said, I was torn between racing and using the day as a training run: I decided that I'd take it relatively easy over the first 8-10 miles and then see where I was up to. In the event, I felt pretty comfortable running at a fairly easy pace and was happy with that, feeling pretty strong during the early and mid parts of the race. By about mile 10, I thought I was in with a chance of getting under 2:00 hours, so attempted to run a bit quicker. What I should say is that this came just at the time when The Hill appeared on the course, so it was only really after crawling up this that I attempted to "sprint" to the finish line. Having said that, I did feel strong going into the finish (doing a quick-for-me 8:12mm for the last mile), although the last few hundred metres seemed to go on forever: I'm sure they had moved the finish back a few hundred yards!

Jokes stats

Other thoughts? Well, although my time was nowhere near a PB for me, I was pretty pleased with my run and I did beat last year's time by over 7 minutes. I was also pleased I didn't get injured, as that really would have been hard to take. Again, it was great to be running in my home city: great to see so many familiar faces running and to see people I know (not usually runners) tackling a half marathon for the first time and doing really well. The atmosphere was amazing and the support was HUGE: it was fantastic to see bands, choirs, friends (and others) lining the streets of Brum to cheer people on. Brilliant!

Now my focus is on next week. In fact as I sit here writing, by this time next week, I will have either finished the race, or failed valiantly in the attempt. I have been gathering my thoughts about this, and will be sharing them soon....

2013 Challenge Series: Why I'm Running for NYAS

Tomorrow is the Great Birmingham Run, the last of my races before the New York Marathon. I've been really looking forward to this, as I really enjoyed it last year, its on my home turf, and there are loads of people I know who are running and supporting others. But this week, in amongst the excitement of preparing for the race tomorrow and of thinking ahead to New York, I had an email from a colleague at work, who shared something a young person in care had written about their experiences. These are their exact words; I have their permission to share them: 

"When you are in care you are surrounded by professionals and it’s really hard to be able to open up and trust any of them as you know they can’t keep things private for you. They have to share stuff with other people, it’s part of their job and I understand it that if they don’t share stuff they’d lose their job but I just want someone I can be honest with. Times when I have told people private things and then they’ve had to share it because they were worried, it’s just blown up in my face and made my life worse. So now I’ve learnt just not to trust anyone and not tell anyone anything. It makes life easier.

Professionals say they care but no one really loves me and that’s hard. No one in this world loves me and I’m really alone.  I mean nothing to no-one.

I just laugh when everyone tells me the view of the child is important as it’s just a word and no one really means it. I’m sitting in these meetings with everyone around me talking about my life and I’m just sitting there, sticking my fingers in my eyes and laughing because it’s so false. And then when they ask me what I think, I feel like saying ‘do you really care?’ When I share things I just feel like it’s a token thing and no one really cares what I think.

Being a child in care you are not free. I have no freedom. Everyone questions what I do and where I go. Everyone talks about me and has meetings about me. Every bit of my life is controlled and questioned by social care. I can’t even decide my own friends or even just talk to people in the street without them questioning why I’m doing it.  It makes me feel out of control of my own life and all I want is a bit of freedom."

These words stopped me in my tracks. Working with children and young people, its easy to think you are doing the right thing, but at the same time ignore the very person you're meant to be helping. But this is why I'm also proud to be running for NYAS. Our Independent Visitors are volunteers who befriend children in care, developing relationships with young people which sometimes last for several years and beyond, showing them that someone does care and value them. Our advocates ensure that the voice of young people are heard by social care; they carry a unique position in that they are the only professional who act on what the young person wants, helping them navigate through the care system and supporting them when things don't go right. Both help to empower and give value to young people in care and others who are vulnerable.

I was also reminded of a great excerpt from "The King's Speech": there are a lot of parallels between Lionel and our advocates. But the thing that has always struck me is this: if this is how the King of England felt, what must it be like being a child in care?

Yes, he had a voice, and a right to be heard. NYAS advocates support and empower thousands of children and young people every year to have their voices heard in a system dominated by adults. NYAS' annual review gives an overview about what the charity does. If you would like to support NYAS by sponsoring me, please visit my fundraising page.............. and if possible, give generously! Thank you!

Runners! I salute you!

St Albans Half

Having spent the last couple of months upping the distance I've been running, I've had plenty of time to contemplate and ruminate. I've now done a few 20 milers, which I am pleased with, but this has not been easy and at times, I've been bored, knackered, have doubted myself and have simply just not enjoyed running these sorts of distances. I'm now at the stage where, although I'm looking forward to running the New York Marathon, the training is simply a drag and very hard work! Without the focus and challenge of trying to complete 26.2 miles, there is no way I would be doing this.



Which brings me to two other runners I've recently spoken to. The first is a friend and colleague of mine, Sam, who has recently run her first ultra, a 45 mile run between Ely and Cambridge (and back). I ran a part of the course in March, and it was probably the hardest run I've done: although it was flat, I found the off road nature of course hard on the legs. Well Sam ran that twice over and more. Having been training for New York, I cannot imagine the training she had to go through to prepare for this, not to mention the grit, determination and courage needed to complete it! An amazing achievement. 

But also, a couple of weeks ago, I met an old friend who had emigrated to Oz, but who had returned to England for a holiday. Over the last few weeks Gill had started running and had now got up to running 5k with just a couple of breaks (and that in 42 degrees at times!). This in itself is also a remarkable achievement. Gill is aiming to get to the stage next year where she can run a half marathon, and she'll get there! I was reminded that when i started running 18 months ago, I couldn't run a mile and really struggled. 

And the thing which joins Sam, Gill and myself (and in fact all the runners I know)......... we've all started from somewhere; no matter where we start from we all have aims and goals; and no matter what we are aiming for, it takes courage and determination to get there. That is why to all the runners out there, I salute you!